Boneheads of 627**

I swear this actually happened
From Yahoo

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:36 pm

From: Winston Smith <gws@...>
Date: Tue May 11, 2004 10:06 pm
Subject: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

John:

Jimmy Ellis was our X.O.

I don't know why there was not a verse of "Drill Mongers" written
expressly for him.

G.W. aka Master Chief

From Yahoo

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:37 pm

From: <janses01@...>
Date: Wed May 12, 2004 7:46 am
Subject: Re: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

Just wondering JD was the worst Officer I have ever served with or knew about.
He went on to be CO of the Calhoun (spelling?)

From Yahoo

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:40 pm

From: DA Dossin <danatl@...>
Date: Wed May 12, 2004 8:33 am
Subject: Re: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

JD Apple in my mind was not a good XO. Granted the XO always has to give the crew shit but this guy....... gave far more than necessary. Someone said he was not any better on the Calhoun.

Maybe the XO was the good guy on the Calhoun. What a concept, a nice XO.
<chuckle>

When I served on the Calhoun <after the Madison> it was one screwed up boat. I left subs because of that boat.

They stood 4 on 8 off and dogged the watch on Sunday. 3 friggin months and I didnt get any sleep. GImme 6 on and 12 off!!!

They stored potatoes in one of the showers, had "water hours" when it was not necessary, couldnt figure out how to cross connect all the hot water heaters ...... that meant, unless you were first in the shower, you didnt get any hot water.

On the Madison, all the hot water hearters were cross connected and there was more than enough hot water for all. Sure did make the trip a bit more enjoyable. When I was on the Madison, we only shut down the water plant when ops required it. Other wise, we just kept making water...... ALL the time.

Guess we had Chief Holland to thank for all that. Great guy. Still see him
every chance I go to FL.

From Yahoo

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:41 pm

From: "Adams, Ken P" <ken_adams@...>
Date: Wed May 12, 2004 9:03 am
Subject: RE: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

One northern run in the mid-70's under Captain Carwin, engineering
(gold) field-dayed 6 hours after every watch for 6 weeks. We heard that
a Subron 14 admiral had remarked that our engine room was dirty after
refit, which resulted in the marathon. After this, we christened him
Captain Carwash.

From Yahoo

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:43 pm

From Yahoo wrote:From: "Adams, Ken P" <ken_adams@...>
Date: Wed May 12, 2004 9:03 am
Subject: RE: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

One northern run in the mid-70's under Captain Carwin, engineering
(gold) field-dayed 6 hours after every watch for 6 weeks. We heard that
a Subron 14 admiral had remarked that our engine room was dirty after
refit, which resulted in the marathon. After this, we christened him
Captain Carwash.
From: DA Dossin <danatl@...>
Date: Wed May 12, 2004 9:10 am
Subject: RE: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

For some reason I doubt if Carwin lost any sleep over that.

From Yahoo

Another Bonehead**

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:45 pm

From: "Adams, Ken P" <ken_adams@...>
Date: Wed May 12, 2004 9:32 am
Subject: RE: RE: [USS_James_Madison_SSBN627] Another Bonehead

So many weeks of watch, field day, and drills. I remember I was Engine
Room Upper Level watchstander. Having been up for three days without
sleep, I began to march around the engine room to stay awake. After
about 30 minutes of marching, I woke up on my hands and knees facing the
diamond deck wondering, what happened?


Ken Adams MM2 Gold 72-78

From Yahoo

Not Quite a Bonehead**

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:57 pm

From: "Joseph Dobry" <lastweps@...>
Date: Tue May 18, 2004 7:33 pm
Subject: Not Quite a Bonehead

In the mid-to-late 80s, it was a known fact that in the officer head
a healthy one could clog the line. Being (fill in the blank), the A-
Gangers just gave us an air line to do a mini-blowdown. Shutting the
ball valve, we would connect to the base of the toilet and then plug
into the EAB. Problem solved.
One morning in refit we are sitting at the Wardroom table for
Officer's Call. Capt Rish was there, but no XO (LCDR Bill Wright.)
Well, Capt Rish started the meeting, and after about 5 minutes the XO
came in. He was freshly showered. The Capt asked him what was up,
and he was so mad he could barely talk. He wanted the Belowdecks to
come to the Wardroom right now to explain why we were blowing
sanitaries and a sign was not hung on his door. After some muffled
giggles I fessed up that I had taken my morning constitutional and
explained the "clearing" procedure. Pulling that string a little
further the CO realized that we had an untenable situation. That
afternoon A-Gand started disconnecting the drain line and used a
water pic to clean the walls of the pipe. You should have seen the
amount of deposits that came out of the line. When they were done a
tennis ball could make it all the way through.
That Halfway Night the XO was presented with a Golden Toilet Seat
Award

From Yahoo

Re: Not Quite a Bonehead**

Post by From Yahoo » Tue Nov 29, 2005 4:00 pm

From Yahoo wrote:From: "Joseph Dobry" <lastweps@...>
Date: Tue May 18, 2004 7:33 pm
Subject: Not Quite a Bonehead

In the mid-to-late 80s, it was a known fact that in the officer head
a healthy one could clog the line. Being (fill in the blank), the A-
Gangers just gave us an air line to do a mini-blowdown. Shutting the
ball valve, we would connect to the base of the toilet and then plug
into the EAB. Problem solved.
One morning in refit we are sitting at the Wardroom table for
Officer's Call. Capt Rish was there, but no XO (LCDR Bill Wright.)
Well, Capt Rish started the meeting, and after about 5 minutes the XO
came in. He was freshly showered. The Capt asked him what was up,
and he was so mad he could barely talk. He wanted the Belowdecks to
come to the Wardroom right now to explain why we were blowing
sanitaries and a sign was not hung on his door. After some muffled
giggles I fessed up that I had taken my morning constitutional and
explained the "clearing" procedure. Pulling that string a little
further the CO realized that we had an untenable situation. That
afternoon A-Gand started disconnecting the drain line and used a
water pic to clean the walls of the pipe. You should have seen the
amount of deposits that came out of the line. When they were done a
tennis ball could make it all the way through.
That Halfway Night the XO was presented with a Golden Toilet Seat
Award


From: "gradyh627" <gharrison@...>
Date: Wed May 19, 2004 9:32 pm
Subject: Re: Not Quite a Bonehead

I distincly remember clogging problems with one of the heads in the
officers' stateroom area. We found out later that someone from the
tender broke a snake in the drain leading to SAN 1 and didn't tell
anyone... Let's say the head developed a nasty propensity to clog.
The Aux forward would have to blow the head almost daily through a
fitting under the ball valve using an air hose (15psi) connected to
the EAB air manifold. I was OOD during the midwatch when I got a
call to send the Aux Fwd blow the officers' head. Our A-ganger (I
believe it was Duck Thomas) got the word and returned about half an
hour later holding a clear poly bag. In it was the largest turd I've
ever seen (about a foot long but about 3 inches in diameter). The A-
ganger had that terrified look as he was waving his bag in control
yelling something like : "Can you believe what I fished out of the
officers' head, look at the size of it, someone wake up the Doc...
this is a real medical emergency... Only an officer could have an A--
Hole big enough to do this..." I threw him out of control, him and
his find... We were all speachless.
The night baker came to me the next day and asked me how I liked the
A-ganger's joke... Before reporting back that he had blown the head,
the A-ganger went to the galley where the baker was baking rolls,
shaped the biggest turd he could out of fresh bread dough and rolled
it in coffee grounds before slipping it in a bag to do the trick. We
had all been fooled. I guess that was one of the best practical joke
the watch section fell for...
Grady

ahab627
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2005 2:30 am
First Name: Frederick W.
Last Name: Thomas
Crew?: Blue
Which Years on Board: 1963-67
Special Crew?: Commissioning
Rate: RM1(SS), l

The Case of QM3 Weeks and the Phantom Diver(s)

Post by ahab627 » Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:38 pm

Don't even remember which Gold patrol this was, 3rd Gold I think. The boat was alongside the tender in Rota, so we hadn't gotten underweigh yet. I had the below decks mid-watch. A certain QM3 Weeks (SU) had the topside watch. Don't even remember how many of us were still aboard that night, as I'm sure you all remember how few actual days of liberty any of us got while preping for the coming patrol. There were quite a few on liberty, if memory serves me, as we were nearing the end of the 28 day upkeep; everything was fixed, or almost fixed and all stores had already been loaded, it was quiet and peaceful. For the first two hours, that is.

I was in the Control Room making the rounds, clipboard in hand, marking off all the settings at the BCP when I hear this "pop" from the open hatch above and behind me that goes topside. That's what gunfire sounds like when you're below decks and someone rips one off up topside, a "pop." Seven seconds later, (I know it was seven seconds because I counted them off), I hear pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, in rapid succession. "What the hell?" goes through my mind immediately and I zip topside fast as I could. There stands QM3 Weeks in all his righteous glory sliding another magazine into the topside watch's standard issue 1911A1. He yells, "I saw divers bubbles approaching the boat, I did, I saw them. Sabateurs are in the water, they're trying to get the boat, so I shot at the bubbles." So help me, or very nearly, his very words. I had to recount them officially in the Ships Log recording of the "Incident of Enemy Sabateurs and Repelling of Boarders."

Now, you know what went through my mind, don't you? This little weasel had been playing with that pistol, loaded a full magazine, jacked one into the chamber and squeezed on the trigger a little harder than he'd intended. How I reached that conclusion is the seven seconds between that first "pop" and the succeeding six "pops." This is one of the two most guarded pieces of foreign coastal real-estate on the planet, the other being Holy Loch, Scotland; and, there ain't no divers going to get anywhere near the Spanish Naval Base at Rota, Spain, let alone inside the harbor. His story, and he was sticking to it, was that he was defending the USS James Madison SSBN627 from enemy divers.

Only 60 seconds have elapsed from his last fired round and the storming aboard of all the armed sailors and cops in Rota. Didn't have any choice but to play it out. I hit the alaram and we went to General Quarters. Some of you were there, so you ought to remember, and some of you were just coming back off liberty drunker'n skunks, and so it's probably a little hazy for you guys; but, now, I have to issue side arms and shoulder weapons to everyone who's still aboard, and everyone coming back from the beach to repell boarders. I even gave out cutlasses, this was becoming a full scale and gleeful incident. And, oh my God, those drunks (my glorious, avenging and demented shipmates) demanded to be armed as well, with loaded Thompson Submachine guns, no less. Don't know who that was, but it wasn't me. Somebody gave those drunks the Tommy Guns we kept in the little closet we called the "armory," and off they went rip roaring to shoot something. This, guys, is going to be a very long mid-watch.

Before we could take stock of what was actually happening topside, the CDO of the tender is on deck, Captain Kearney and the XO (Joe "The Plumber" Logan) who were ashore had been contacted and were returning, 200 heavily armed U.S. Navy sailors, and an equal number of heavily armed La Guardia Civil are swarming topside, and I'm back down below deck in the Control Room. The only way you can get that many people on deck at any one time is to be stacked on top of each other; but, there they were, milling about smartly, and gleefully as I had earlier observed, intent on shooting something. At about 0230, thank you Lord, the "A" Div. Officer, our red headed giant, Lt. Toby Warson, got everybody calmed down that was up above, relieved all the drunks of their weapons and sent them to their bunks, and took everything down on paper.

Wasn't long and the "Old Man" and XO are back on deck wanting to know what in hell happened, and couldn't they leave anyone of sound mind and body in charge in their absence for three minutes, and who's in charge here, and Ahab you're in deep sh....t if you don't have a good explanation for this. Reporting the incident in a 10 second by 10 second replay of what took place, all the while answering their 2 million questions, and silently imploring my Maker to keep Joe's hands from my throat, I gave an account of what had transpired. Finally, Joe the Plumber asked me what I thought had actually taken place. With the Captain standing there, arms akimbo, and Joe almost purple in the face, I gave him my answer.

After a lengthy investigation, in which our own divers, the tender's divers, and Spanish Navy divers combing the entire harbor, La Guardia Civil, and the Spanish Army combing the shoreline, it was concluded there was no sign that anyone untoward had ever been in, or near the water, or anywhere near the boat. Young QM3 Weeks was packed up and shipped home FFT to a DD two days later. That fiasco probably cost the U.S. Navy Submarine Service $1 million dollars to smooth over, and reduced OPTAR for 30 days. They spared no funding to the boats in them days. And that's my "Sea Story."
Fred

ETSN(SS)
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:03 am
First Name: Jeff
Last Name: Grubbs
Crew?: Gold
Which Years on Board: 1983-1985
Special Crew?: Neither
Rate: NavET

Re: Boneheads of 627**

Post by ETSN(SS) » Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:31 am

In the spring of '85 Gold Crew was on patrol and one of the funniest events you could imagine took place. The A-Gangers stole the door off of the Goat Locker. They managed to keep it in multiple secret locations for a course of about two weeks. The COB organized search parties, field days, and of course they drilled us to tears. Yet, they could not find it. There was even a night when they (the Chiefs) thought they had some "good intel" as to where it was and several of them went to search the aft compartment that they were sure it was located. I was on the mess decks by the galley and here came three A-gangers with the door wrapped in a blanket headed to the Torpedo Room.

The chiefs were the brunt of hundreds of wise cracks about the blanket that they were using to cover the empty doorway and their inability to locate the missing door.The missing door stayed on the move for so long that the COB had to get on the 1MC and promise amnesty to all involved if the door would just be returned. That night during the mid-watch the door mysteriously reappeared right back where it started, hanging in the doorway of the Goat Locker.

There You have it, just another mysterious disappearence in the Bermuda Triangle.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot]