Date: Thu Feb 12, 2004 3:49 pm
Subject: FW: [Polknews] The Chief
I think you guys will appreciate this.
He was a ragged old man who shuffled into a waterfront bar that afternoon. Stinking of whisky and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player wanted sign from the window and handed it to the bartender I'd like to apply for the job," he said.
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had
been quite awhile since he had a piano player, and business was falling off.
"What do you do ?" he asked.
"I'm retired was the answer, as a matter of fact 'I'm a retired Navy Chief
Petty Officer, but since I retired I've done nothing but drink, chase broads
and play the piano."
Now really unsure, the barkeep decided to give him try...he really needed
more business, "The piano is over there....give it a go."
The old man staggered his way over to the piano and several patrons
snickered. But, by the time he was into the third bar of music. every voice
was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music, unlike anyone had heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
The bartender bought the old sailor a beer and told him he really, really
sounded good. "What do you call that song?" he asked the old sailor.
"It's called drop your skivies, Baby, We're Gonna Rock Tonight," said the
old chief as he took a long pull from the beer.
The crowd winced along with the bartender, but the piano player went
on."I've got another,"...and he began to play again. What followed was a
knee-slapping, 'hand-clapping' bit of ragtime that had the place jumping.
People were coming in from the street to hear this guy play.
After he finished, the Chief acknowledged the applause and told the crowd
the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Anchor Chain Run Out." He then
excused himself as he lurched off to the men's room.
After thinking a bit the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter how
bad he looked or what his songs were called. When the guy came out of the men's room, the bartender went over to tell him he had the job. but then he noticed the old man's fly was undone and his 'unit' was hanging out.
He said, "look Chief, the job is yours, but first I gotta ask, do you know
your fly is open and your d**k is hanging out?" "Know it?" the old Chief
replied, "Hell, I wrote it!"